You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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