her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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