This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
