This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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