I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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