I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
