Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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