i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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