someone get that fucking seahorse.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
