Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
