remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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