I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
