Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
