I cockslap morals
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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