Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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