you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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