Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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