He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
