Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
