If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My vagina is very pro this idea
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
