I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize