very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
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Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
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A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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