Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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