whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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