Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
