She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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