well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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