Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
