yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
