yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
