Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
