We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
