This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
