Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
