Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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