i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
