The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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