Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
