the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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