I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We got so high we made milksteak
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
