It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize