yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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