I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
