I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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