i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The feeling are messing with the penis
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
