Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
