in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
