My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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