This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
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