Me. At least after what I've been through.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
