I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
