Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
