at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
and she was petting her beer can
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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