Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize