thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize