Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
