I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
