I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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